Proverbs 31 Woman

I am blessed to be married to Doug  who wrote this song.  Spread the word!

Yes, our home is a flurry of activity as we prepare for another child to be married - this time, a daughter.  Being a traditional family, we are putting on the event, and with great joy!  We are preparing to release our daughter, in a sense, giving the responsibility of protection and provision to her beloved.

So what advice would I give to a family with lots of children, especially several daughters?  Since some have asked, I would say to begin the conversation now, between husband and wife, regarding courtship (what is it?), budget, expectations and more.   Some have lumped dating and courtship together.  But the big difference is that a man and a woman in a courtship are heading towards marriage.  Dating, however, seems to imply a lack of commitment.  Yes, some who “date around” end up marrying that one, but dating around can leave great wounds.

Why talk about the budget when your children are young or teens?  Because this is a big issue.  We know folks who have gone into debt to put on their child’s wedding.  We know folks who spent $40,000 on the wedding only to be divorced a couple years later.  A wedding is a wonderful celebration, but it can be lovely and memorable even on a modest budget.  So, set a budget now, while you are thinking clearly, and when the time comes, make every effort to stick to it.  Pray, be creative, do some research.

In our case, our daughter wanted lots of guests, 100’s in fact.  So, the sit down dinner option was nixed.  But we will have delicious food for the guests:  fruits, vegeys, crackers, cheeses, shrimp, desserts, hors de voures, etc.  The setting is our home church for the ceremony and reception.  Since children are very important to the bride to be the wedding party includes 2 ring bearers and 4 flower girls, in addition to 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen, ushers, musicians, and 2 ministers presiding.

This is also a time to let go……….to realize that the couple is establishing a new home.  It’s time to say, “I’ve raised you and love you and will continue to love you.  But if you want advice from now on, you will need to come to me and ask.”  That can be a very hard thing to grasp for a parent, especially a controlling parent.  But do you really want to treat your 20 something child like he/she still has a diaper on?  Cut the apron strings, in fact, start to loosen them little by little as the years roll on from ages, let’s say 1 , until the late teens.

Rejoice with us at this time!!

“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”

Reading through this Proverb and meditating on it has been convicting.  Charles Bridges states, “… no good results can arise from the spirit of the talebearer, because with him it is pure selfishness, without a principle beyond the love of sin for its own sake.  He lives upon the scandal of the place, and makes it his hateful business to carry about tales, or slanders of his neighbour’s faults.  Such reports are eagerly devoured, and the mischief-maker feeds with greedy appetite upon the fruit of his cruel indulgence.  To him this may appear harmless play.  But if it draws no blood, and no outward hurt is shewn, an internal, and often incurable, wound is inflicted.  (Chap. 26:22)  We may seem to make light of the tale brought to our ears, and wholly to despise it.  But the subtle poison has worked.  “Suppose it should be true.  Perhaps, though it may be exaggerated, there may be some ground for it.”  The thought indulged only for a moment brings suspicioun, distrust, coldness; and often it ends in the separation of chief friends.”

May the Lord guard my lips and every word that comes out of my mouth.

Proverbs 13:18 says, “Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction:  but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.”

“The instruction of discipline is God’s ordinance.  Little do those who refuse it know, what a blessing they cast away! (Hebrews 12:10,11)  Poverty and shame are often the Lord’s rod for his wayward children (Luke 15:12-16); two dreaded evils— the one bringing them to want; the other hiding their heads; both disappointing “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.”  (1 John 2:16)  Young persons! learn to dread the liberty of being left to your own choice.  Dread the first step in the downward course, refusing instruction…Know your besetting temptation, ‘as the horse and the mule’  (Ps. 32:9), impatient of restraint.  If godly remonstrance be slighted, all may end in poverty and shame, embittered with the poignant sting of death-bed remorse. (chap. 5:11)…If we be humbled under his reproof, we shall be raised to his throne. (1Pt. 5:6)  Pleasant indeed are his words to his well-disciplined child.  To have our ears open to receive discipline, is to walk in the path of life and happiness (chap. 6:23.  Job 36:10-12); the honour of conformity to our Divine Saviour.”

Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop:  but a good word maketh it glad.

Charles Bridges says this in his commentary on Proverbs:

“…Know we not the voice–’It is I; be not afraid?’(Matt.14:27)  Human sympathy may give temporary relief.  But ‘that was the grace, softer than oil, sweeter than roses, which flows from the Saviour’s lips into the sinner’s wounds; and being poured into the contrite heart, not only heals, but blesses it, yea, and marks it out for eternal blessedness.  Oh!  how sweet is the voice of pardon to a soul groaning under the burden of sin!’  David, but for these good words, ‘would have perished in his affliction.’(Ps.119:92)  What beside made glad the jailor’s stooping heart?  (Acts 16:28-34)  Precious indeed is the privilege, to strengthen the weak hands ‘with a good word of God’ (Isa 35:3,4); to take the chair by the mourner’s side, and ‘comfort him with the same comfort, wherewith  we ourselves are comforted of God.’ (2 Cor. 1:4).  Precious is the ministry of the gospel, commissioned with the gladdening word to the heavy of heart.  (Job 33:23-26.  Isa. 40:1,2)  Yet more precious the office of the Beloved Saviour, ‘gifted with the tongue of the learned,’ and filled with the unction of the Spirit, for the express purpose of ‘comforting them that mourn.’  How tenderly did He perform this office, let his last sermon testify. (John 14-16)  See then the provision for joy, so rich, so free, so ready.”

Why do we waste so much time spinning our wheels to “arrive”?  Where is it we are trying to go?  Who are we trying to keep up with?  Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Resting in His love, mercy, greatness, and trusting that His sovereign plan is what He wants for us is not always easy or reachable in a given moment.  When an accident happens or job loss occurs, for example, it may be really easy to kindle bitterness and questioning.  Some people learn through health challenges that they must rest in the Lord.  When we realize afresh our utter dependence on HIm, when we are sick or needy or hurting we are broken by Him and we learn more of humility and our need of a Saviour.  We must always cling to Christ or Lord, He who endured every kind of suffering, pain and affliction.

The Proverbs are so much a HUGE TREASURE CHEST of wisdom……….more gleanings are coming.  I’m struck by the breadth of issues covered; foibles and follies of human relationships are dealt with throughout the book.

If today I could fly anywhere in the world, where would I go?

If I could give any gift in the world to someone, what would it be?

If I could see what the future holds, would I want to know?

If I could find a treasure chest full of treasures, what would that be?

The Lord has been showing me that that treasure chest is sitting on my dining room table.

As I read it (Bible), I unearth great and precious treasures.

I acquired my Polo by Ralph Lauren at the Edison Street Sale last Saturday. Everyone’s heard of Ralph Lauren, but have you heard of the Edison Street Sale? It’s an annual event now in our city, usually held the first Sat. of June, although that’s spilled over to include the few days prior and a couple days after.

People actually come from out of state now to shop the Edison Street Sale. Many people, like me, make a list of things to look for at this event; my list this year included a new winter jacket, some tennis shoes or sandals,milk glass dishes to add to my collection, a pair of summer shorts (I haven’ t worn them in years but my wonderful 13 yr. old daughter practically coerced me into getting a pair this year), a globe for my friend named Jennifer, a shirt or jacket for my husband, something for my new grandchild, and some tomato cages.

I found just about everything on my list within an hour or two. But it’s funny, I never made it onto Edison Street. You see, over the years the adjacent blocks, including mine, have joined in the fun. Yes, it’s still called the Edison Street Sale, but it spans several blocks now. I didn’t even make it off my block; actually, I still had money in my pocket, but I had four bags of goodies to carry after going to about 6 houses and so I went home and put away my loot!

I missed getting my annual hotdog sold by the boy scouts on Edison Street. But, I found a Polo by Ralph Lauren! Enjoy the Summer.

ps. maybe you can start such an event in your town

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