Proverbs 31 Woman

Yes, our home is a flurry of activity as we prepare for another child to be married - this time, a daughter.  Being a traditional family, we are putting on the event, and with great joy!  We are preparing to release our daughter, in a sense, giving the responsibility of protection and provision to her beloved.

So what advice would I give to a family with lots of children, especially several daughters?  Since some have asked, I would say to begin the conversation now, between husband and wife, regarding courtship (what is it?), budget, expectations and more.   Some have lumped dating and courtship together.  But the big difference is that a man and a woman in a courtship are heading towards marriage.  Dating, however, seems to imply a lack of commitment.  Yes, some who “date around” end up marrying that one, but dating around can leave great wounds.

Why talk about the budget when your children are young or teens?  Because this is a big issue.  We know folks who have gone into debt to put on their child’s wedding.  We know folks who spent $40,000 on the wedding only to be divorced a couple years later.  A wedding is a wonderful celebration, but it can be lovely and memorable even on a modest budget.  So, set a budget now, while you are thinking clearly, and when the time comes, make every effort to stick to it.  Pray, be creative, do some research.

In our case, our daughter wanted lots of guests, 100’s in fact.  So, the sit down dinner option was nixed.  But we will have delicious food for the guests:  fruits, vegeys, crackers, cheeses, shrimp, desserts, hors de voures, etc.  The setting is our home church for the ceremony and reception.  Since children are very important to the bride to be the wedding party includes 2 ring bearers and 4 flower girls, in addition to 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen, ushers, musicians, and 2 ministers presiding.

This is also a time to let go……….to realize that the couple is establishing a new home.  It’s time to say, “I’ve raised you and love you and will continue to love you.  But if you want advice from now on, you will need to come to me and ask.”  That can be a very hard thing to grasp for a parent, especially a controlling parent.  But do you really want to treat your 20 something child like he/she still has a diaper on?  Cut the apron strings, in fact, start to loosen them little by little as the years roll on from ages, let’s say 1 , until the late teens.

Rejoice with us at this time!!

Proverbs 13:18 says, “Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction:  but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.”

“The instruction of discipline is God’s ordinance.  Little do those who refuse it know, what a blessing they cast away! (Hebrews 12:10,11)  Poverty and shame are often the Lord’s rod for his wayward children (Luke 15:12-16); two dreaded evils— the one bringing them to want; the other hiding their heads; both disappointing “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.”  (1 John 2:16)  Young persons! learn to dread the liberty of being left to your own choice.  Dread the first step in the downward course, refusing instruction…Know your besetting temptation, ‘as the horse and the mule’  (Ps. 32:9), impatient of restraint.  If godly remonstrance be slighted, all may end in poverty and shame, embittered with the poignant sting of death-bed remorse. (chap. 5:11)…If we be humbled under his reproof, we shall be raised to his throne. (1Pt. 5:6)  Pleasant indeed are his words to his well-disciplined child.  To have our ears open to receive discipline, is to walk in the path of life and happiness (chap. 6:23.  Job 36:10-12); the honour of conformity to our Divine Saviour.”

Why do we waste so much time spinning our wheels to “arrive”?  Where is it we are trying to go?  Who are we trying to keep up with?  Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Resting in His love, mercy, greatness, and trusting that His sovereign plan is what He wants for us is not always easy or reachable in a given moment.  When an accident happens or job loss occurs, for example, it may be really easy to kindle bitterness and questioning.  Some people learn through health challenges that they must rest in the Lord.  When we realize afresh our utter dependence on HIm, when we are sick or needy or hurting we are broken by Him and we learn more of humility and our need of a Saviour.  We must always cling to Christ or Lord, He who endured every kind of suffering, pain and affliction.

The Proverbs are so much a HUGE TREASURE CHEST of wisdom……….more gleanings are coming.  I’m struck by the breadth of issues covered; foibles and follies of human relationships are dealt with throughout the book.

I acquired my Polo by Ralph Lauren at the Edison Street Sale last Saturday. Everyone’s heard of Ralph Lauren, but have you heard of the Edison Street Sale? It’s an annual event now in our city, usually held the first Sat. of June, although that’s spilled over to include the few days prior and a couple days after.

People actually come from out of state now to shop the Edison Street Sale. Many people, like me, make a list of things to look for at this event; my list this year included a new winter jacket, some tennis shoes or sandals,milk glass dishes to add to my collection, a pair of summer shorts (I haven’ t worn them in years but my wonderful 13 yr. old daughter practically coerced me into getting a pair this year), a globe for my friend named Jennifer, a shirt or jacket for my husband, something for my new grandchild, and some tomato cages.

I found just about everything on my list within an hour or two. But it’s funny, I never made it onto Edison Street. You see, over the years the adjacent blocks, including mine, have joined in the fun. Yes, it’s still called the Edison Street Sale, but it spans several blocks now. I didn’t even make it off my block; actually, I still had money in my pocket, but I had four bags of goodies to carry after going to about 6 houses and so I went home and put away my loot!

I missed getting my annual hotdog sold by the boy scouts on Edison Street. But, I found a Polo by Ralph Lauren! Enjoy the Summer.

ps. maybe you can start such an event in your town

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As of May 4 I’m a Grandma again!  My 2nd grandchild was born early that morning!  She was 8 # 5oz. and 21″ long.  Her name is Erin Mairead (Irish for “pearl”).  What a wonderful privilege and blessing it is to be blessed in this way once again.  I’m learning to think more generationally.  What I do and say and think today impacts the coming generations…..I need to go study the Proverbs some more to get more wisdom.

From Charles Bridges in his commentary, Proverbs:

“So rare is this treasure, that the challenge is given —- ‘Who can find a virtuous woman?’  Abraham sent to a distant land for this inestimable blessing for his beloved son.  Perhaps one reason of the rarity of the gift is, that it is so seldom sought.  Too often is the search made for accomplishments, not for virtues; for external and adventitious recommendations, rather than for internal godly worth…Truly her price is above rubies.  No treasure is comparable to her.”

I just checked the mail and guess what I got?

Today, I received a birthday card from my grandson!

Yes, yes, it did make me cry!

How old is my grandson you ask?  He’ll be one in April ‘08!

Thanks very much, D/R!!  That made my day!!

Many thanks to everyone who called, sent cards, gave cards, sent flowers and gave gifts.   I am blessed!

As I work on a more lengthy entry with that title, a few observations come to mind.

The setting is 40 years ago, a moderate mid-western town.  In the Summer, I’d play in the neighborhood as a child  and there were lots of children, lots of mothers, lots of joy.

Today, in the same town, during the Summer, I, now a mother and grandmother,see some children playing, some in their homes, but where have all the mothers gone?